The readings of this summer term have opened my eyes to lots of obstacles that women of my generation never had to think about. Although my mother’s struggles as a working mother are something that I knew about in general first-hand, I never even thought of the many details and political circumstances that made this such a challenge. 

Maybe ours will be the generation to finally get it all together and place the proper priority on supporting ALL women and their families. Maybe we will finally make our leaders realize that all women, whatever their circumstances or choices, should be congratulated for taking on the awesome task of raising great, well-adjusted kids, while also supporting them financially and also making significant contributions in the workplace. Surely all the energy spent on judgement and finger-pointing between moms who work outside the home, versus inside the home, can be better used to creatively find solutions that can work for all of us! 

A few books that I found on Mommy Wars! 

Things that stay at home mom’s think—

• That staying at home with kids is the hardest job in the world, because it never ends, and they go for long periods without adult conversation.
• They may be secretly guilty of women who get to be with grown-ups, possibly travel for business, and generally just have their own “life.”
• That you shouldn’t pawn off raising them to a daycare, etc.
• Kids need you, not stuff.
• Staying at home with your kids is the only “right” choice.
• That infants should be breastfed for at least the first year of your child’s life, and they should never be fed infant formula.
• They are sick of people thinking that they are less intelligent for quitting their jobs to stay home and raise their kids.

No matter what, they feel guilty because they wonder if what the working moms say is true…

Things working mom’s say—

• Stay-at-homes have it so much easier, because they only have one focus, rather than having to manage their personal and professional lives.
• They must work as a matter of financial survival, and shouldn’t be made to feel they aren’t as good a parent as a stay-at-home mom.
• Being completely dependent on spouse makes them feel like they no power in the marriage. They have seen other women who women who were completely dependent on their husbands, then left with nothing, or so far removed from the current skills they needed to support their kids in the career they once had.
• They want to work to give their family more opportunities, nice things college tuition, etc.
• They are simply not cut out to stay with their kids all day, and provide the stimulation and development, and enrichment their kids might get in a more structured environment.
• They want to work to give themselves a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment that they did not find by being a stay-at-home mom.
• They want to set an example of achievement for their daughters, to show them they can accomplish anything they set their minds to.
• They may feel jealous of what they perceive as a relaxed, easier life, with no pressure to “get ready” and look good in the office every day, uncomplicated by other obligations.

No matter what, they feel guilty because they wonder if what the stay-at-home moms say is true…

Since my mom is a working mom, I asked her how she felt about the situation and what her side was. My mom has never really had the choice of being a stay at home mom and she wished that she had gotten to have more time with my brother and I. Although working and making money to support our family does make her feel better about herself, she doesn’t really like being dependent on someone else for different things, such as getting my brother to and from his extracurricular activities. 

May 21st controversial issue of Time Magazine

In Women’s Health Study, we have talked about lots of obstacles to women and hurdles “they” placed in our way but there are also things women do to each other that hold us back. By failing to make affordable quality childcare a priority in our country, the society is saying that they really should be staying at home with their kid, but if they don’t then, good luck.

Do y’all think we make it hard to succeed in the workplace, and have a career? 

This brings my to my discussion on Mommy Wars. What are mommy wars? Wayne F. Cascio, the author of “Managing Human Resources” defines Mommy Wars as “Personal conflicts experienced by women in the workforce, especially those in demanding executive positions, as they juggle work and family roles.” 

The Benefits of NAEYC Accreditation in Child Care centers

Although it is difficult to find affordable quality daycare for your child, it is not impossible.  According to Nancy Bacot, a frequent lecturer on the subject of child development, and assistant professor of early childhood education at Arkansas State University, the keys to finding quality care for your child are starting with early planning and being educated about what to look for. She also notes to look for a center that has regular hours and is accredited by the National Assocation of Education of Young Children. If a program is not accredited then they are not always required to meet certain health and learning requirements.

Mrs. Bacot, who is also my grandmother, states that she believes it is important to know the ratio of number of children per care giver. She believes that the younger the children the more caregivers there will need to be. Most importantly she believes that the care giver in the child care center should respond to children and not allow a passive environment. Mrs. Bacot emphasized that the most important thing for young children’s developing minds is to provide a stimulating environment. This environment should support the four primary developmental domains: physical, social-emotional, cognitive, and linguistic.

If you are unsure if your child’s care center is accredited or are looking for a place that is, you may follow this link to check it out. http://www.naeyc.org/academy/accreditation/search

Choosing Quality Child Care: In-Home Family Child Care 

This video is on youtube and it covers some good steps in choosing a child care provider in your community. 

Because our country offers such a poorly comparable maternity leave to other countries, I feel that it is important that we have good quality child care options. Not only should there be quality child care but it should be made affordable….I mean, isn’t the reason that we need daycare because we have to go back to work and make money to support ourselves and families? 

Everybody has a friend or family member that has had difficulty finding quality & affordable day care. This is not a new problem, it has been around for many many years. While living in Memphis, my mom and her friends found out that they had to be put on a wait list for daycare while they were expecting to insure that they would be provided with childcare when they were off of maternity leave. I also know of a fellow dental hygiene student that let a daycare know in August 2011 that she was expecting and was unable to get into the daycare until this August. She had to utilize fellow classmates with different school schedules to keep her little bundle of joy. I’m sure she will be relieved that she finally has child care for her daughter this year. This shows that there is a high demand for good quality and affordable child care. Has anyone else had an experience like this? 

I found a website that listed some “ingredients for quality child care.” The “ingredients” that were listed were, the child care provider, staffing, environment, safety, services, and quality relationships. Can anyone else think of more “ingredients” for quality child care? I thought this website brought a lot of good points to my attention. 

http://www.nncc.org/choose.quality.care/ingredients.html